Arbitrarily ranking the stars of He’s Just Not That Into You

I have to admit that He’s Just Not That Into You was not as bad as movie as I expected, especially not for a movie based on a self-help book. It’s not even quite as comedic as you might assume, either. The movie depicts several loosely-connected romantic relationships, good and bad, beginning and ending. It’s narrated by Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin), who is unsuccessfully navigating the dating scene and trying to understand why we all say things we don’t really mean. I don’t have a lot more to say about the movie, though; I thought it would be more fun to rank the stars of the movie based upon my own arbitrary methods. All in good fun, folks, all in good fun. Let’s do it!

affleck1. Ben Affleck
C’mon, the guy just directed Best Picture and pretty much dominated awards season. Somehow he’s on the ascendant. Gotta put him first. Additionally, his character, Neil, is possibly the best one in the movie, even if he is involved with Jennifer Aniston.

2. Jennifer Connellyconnelly
I love Jennifer Connelly. I want to be her when I grow up. She’s the movie’s other Oscar winner, and she gives the best performance. Her character’s sympathetic but somewhat unlikeable. I sort of wished that she and Aniston had traded places, but my husband pointed out that Aniston probably couldn’t have played the more complex role as well.

barrymore3. Drew Barrymore
Drew Barrymore pretty much plays Drew Barrymore here, but I’m still a fan, as you may recall from this recent post. I enjoyed her character’s arc: she was trying to figure out how to meet people in the “digital” age, what with Myspace (dated), PDAs, email, and all.

4. Ginnifer Goodwingoodwin
I think this might be the first thing I’ve seen Goodwin in, and she was pretty charming. Her character, Gigi, was naive without being annoying, and even managed a few decent dramatic moments. She’s also my current celebrity doppelganger, so she gets some love.

long5. Justin Long
This is my first time seeing Justin Long as well (aside from the Mac vs. PC commercials), and I was actually pretty surprised. He also has one of the better characters in the movie, starting out as a bit of a player, but ultimately revealing himself as a good guy. I don’t think he was doing a whole lot of difficult acting, but that’s ok. He was fun to watch. In random trivia, he is the only main member of the cast whose name contains no double letters. Interesting!

5. Scarlett Johansson83rd Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals
Oh, Scar Jo. We all know she’s not that great an actress, but I do have to give her points for kicking some butt in The Avengers. She fits her role in He’s Just Not That Into You pretty well, too, although somehow I’m not sure I totally buy her as a yoga instructor.

connolly6. Kevin Connolly
I really no opinion on this guy. He reminds me of Sean Astin, a little bit, and he seems to largely be second-string in rom-coms (he was also in The Ugly Truth). His voice is kind of annoying, and his character was a little lame.

7. Jennifer Aniston85th Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals
Zzzzz. Sorry, but Aniston always just bores me to tears. She’s just so bland, although I do admit she’s generally good as the straight man (see: Friends). Her character is also kind of run-of-the-mill. I sort of wondered why Ben Affleck liked her so much.

cooper8. Bradley Cooper
Yuck. This is the first thing I’ve seen Mr. Cooper in, and he’s got the worst character, basically. This does, of course, mean that he did a good job, since I disliked him so much, but I just don’t get all the love. I find him extremely unattractive. He looks like an emu or a rodent, alternately. Maybe Silver Linings Playbook will change my mind?

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