Everyone should have one. It’s just good survival skills. Let’s say that you’re walking down the street, and one of those celebrities for whom your little heart goes pitter-pat walks by. Let’s say you strike up a conversation, and one thing leads to another. Suddenly, you’ve got a dilemma. You’re in a relationship, but…but…it’s so-and-so! This is the chance of a lifetime we’re talking about here!! What to do?
Hence, The List. Also sometimes known as the “Freebies” list, this is the list of the celebrities for whom you are allowed to bend the rules. I think the concept originated on an episode of Friends, sadly, in which there is discussion of Ross’s list, which is laminated and lives in his wallet. Isabella Rossellini guest-starred, perhaps. Anyway. It is, of course, highly hypothetical, and purely for fun. I am not condoning any sort of inappropriate behavior. Nor am I suggesting that actors or celebrities are merely there for our objectification. This does not need to be that serious a conversation. But let’s face it. Most of the time, actors and actresses are pretty people. They’re fun to look at. It’s part of their job, frankly. And we humans are visual creatures. Deal with it.
I have had a list in some “official” capacity for a very long time. Sometimes I wish I’d kept better track of them so that I could really trace the evolution of my choices, because I find them interesting. But, I will say that in the last few years, there haven’t been any major changes. Usually, it’s just the Number 5 spot that sees the most action. And recently, some friends and I (yeah, we like to talk about boys, you wanna make something of it?) realized that more than one list is necessary. But we’ll get to that in a moment. Right now, I know the question that you’re dying to ask.
Wait no longer! Behold, in its most official format to date (simply by virtue of becoming a post on this blog), My Top Five List. Yeesh. I’m kind of nervous about making such a declaration. But first, some caveats. I would like to say that my list is much more to me than simply pretty faces. These are all men who are talented, seemingly intelligent, often funny, and just interesting human beings. I also think they’re all quite lovely to look at. OK. Ready? Here we go.
2. Robert Downey, Jr.
Kind of a newcomer, but he jumped right into the number 2 slot. I watched a couple of movies in preparation for Iron Man two years back, and by the time I saw Mr. Downey bring Tony Stark to life, I was good and truly smitten. Nobody should be allowed to live the life that man has lead and still look that good. Seriously. Recommended viewing: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
3. Gerard Butler
Several years ago now, I watched the movie Timeline at a friend’s apartment. I spent most of the movie seriously trying to figure out how to crawl into the television set. I admit to not having seen The Ugly Truth or The Bounty Hunter yet, but that’s just because I know Mr. Butler to be capable of better. Go see Dear Frankie, and then we’ll talk.
4. Nathan Fillion
It’s a long story, but let’s just say that I had occasion to watch the entirety of Firefly over the course of a weekend, and from then on, I’ve been kind of obsessed. Mr. Fillion has the distinction of being the only Top Fiver that I’ve actually seen in person (and actually shook hands with!!), and let me say that the screen does not do him justice. My overly giddy reaction leaves me concerned about what would happen if I were ever to meet #1 or #2. I think I might pass out. Recommended viewing: Waitress.
5. Javier Bardem
He’s the newest addition, although I’ve had my eye on him since the 2001 Oscar telecast, when he was nominated for Before Night Falls (which is excellent, if you like heavy drama). He’s so totally charming. I do wish he would make less heavy drama so that I was more inclined to watch his movies, but I’m hoping that after Eat Pray Love he may do some more work that doesn’t involve horrible haircuts and being an assassin. No, I haven’t seen No Country for Old Men, and probably won’t. Recommended viewing: Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
…yep.That’s my list. Lovely, aren’t they? Sigh.
Oh right, I mentioned the need for more lists. So, when compiling a List, there are always thoughts like, “Well, five years ago I would totally have said so-and-so,” or “Do they have to be alive/current?” My friends and I decided that these considerations were important enough to warrant two secondary lists. Just for the sake of being organized, you understand. I admit I don’t have these lists quite as fleshed out yet, but here’s what I’ve got so far.
Used to be hot, now not List
James Spader, Brendan Fraser, Peter Davison (look him up, make fun of me later)
Used to be hot, sadly no longer with us List
Gene Kelly, Cary Grant, Brandon Lee
…SO? I’m now DYING to know. Who’s on YOUR list?